3 Must-Have Skills for Postpartum

Lady, I'm putting together a postpartum skillbuilder habit tracker as a free download. If you're a regular podcast listener, the habit tracker looks familiar because it's the three pillars I start every episode with:

• free things

• one small change

• daily dose of discomfort OR wonder

You know the routine, but what if your friend comes over and sees your postpartum skillbuilder habit tracker on your fridge and asks you about it? You could make her a copy, of course (that's so kind of you!) or send her to the website (postpartumonpurpose.com). Once you've done one of those things, here's a cheat sheet to share to help her fill it out!

What's 'free things' all about?

During postpartum, practicing the art of gratitude is clutch, key, crucial, so important. 'Free things' is mental shorthand to remind ourselves that a) there is always, always something to be grateful for b) a rich, beautiful, meaningful life is available to all of us, no matter the size of our family or budget.

On the habit tracker, write down a smattering of the free things you received this week, could be baby-related or general life-related:

Examples:

• an unsolicited compliment

• fresh produce from a neighbor's garden

• a Meal Train meal

• great weight gain for baby at a lactation appointment

• to a recommendation from a veteran mom on an alternative (that actually works!) to those terrible blue bulb syringes they pass out at the hospital (hello, nosefrida snot sucker!)

What's 'one small change' about?

One small change is mental shorthand to remind ourselves that something is always changing, getting better, going away, or becoming less hard during postpartum. Early on in postpartum #1 (10+ years ago!), I remember thinking blearily as I nurse him in the middle of the night, "I can't do this for the next 18 years!" But I didn't have to. :)

Examples:

• baby slept a 4hr chunk

• baby slept through the night!

• you got out for a date night with the baby

• you got out for a date night without the baby

• baby's first tooth

• breastfeeding stopped being painful

• you started pelvic floor PT

• your grandma got to meet the new baby

• mastitis resolved

• you're no longer leaking with exercise

What's 'daily dose of discomfort' about?

I know, I know, my marketing skills with this one need work. :) But reality is: the single most important skill in postpartum (and motherhod in general!!!!) is learning to roll with and accept discomfort, uncertainty, and lack of control. There you have it. Daily dose of discomfort is hiiiiighly personalizable, choosing some small act each day of discomfort, uncertainty, or giving up control, to teach your braind and body that these things aren't dangerous. They're actually the cost of admission to a life you love.

Your daily dose of discomfort does not have to be postpartum-related, the skills are transferable to your postpartum experience. The thing that makes you a little nervous? Try it. Start small. Perhaps almost vanishingly small. Tolerance builds over time.

• meeting another mom for a playdate for the first time

• letting your husband load the dishwasher however he wants to

• letting the toddler dress himself for church

• reaching out to a lactation consultant

• trying out a restaurant without reading the menu first, just pick something once you get there